They’d be a fab talking point at the dinner table or just cool to admire and finger lovingly. Perfect as an unusual wedding present for the couple who have everything.

Made from bone china they measure 10cm X 7cm X 3.5cm and available from Roost Living at £38.00.

Objects of Desire: TV Salt & Pepper Pots is a post from: My Middle Youth

Yesterday was the first anniversary of my Mum’s death. And, I just want to reflect.

We’ve all survived

Mum in happier times

Despite thinking that we’d never get through it, my Dad, brother and I are still here. Her grandchildren are growing up, as children do. It’s been very painful. Even though we were expecting her death (she’d had ovarian cancer for 10 years), and had the luxury of saying goodbye, and putting things in order before she died. It was still hard when the final day came.

Mum was a beautiful, loving person, who always thought of others before herself. Even when we were planning her funeral and thanksgiving services together, she was more worried about where people would park in the town centre, than it being the right place to have the service!

Throwing Out

We did a lot of clearing out Mum’s things very early on. I spent a lot of last summer driving up and down the M6 to clear Mum’s clothes and her craft shed. She was a fanatical crafter and flower arranger. We all loved her for her generosity and the beautiful things she made. But we had so much stuff we held a sale in the Village Hall in aid of MacMillan Cancer last September.

The ladies from Mum’s WI did the coffee and cakes, and the family and friends set up stall (literally, I took my shop equipment down to be able to display things well), and we sent over £750 to MacMillan!

It was painful to see so much stuff, but other people were able to get benefit from it, so it was right to do it. Mum’s beautiful clothes – so many of them, and remembering her wearing them was painful, but also happy. Remembering the events she wore them at…..happy times.

Life Goes On

Mum wanted us all to get on with our lives. Easy for her to say! We were the ones grieving. She left a big hole. Who do I ring when I don’t know how to do something? Who do I turn to when something goes wrong? I also miss the general, silly chats. Those 10 conversations in a day when you keep remembering things to say about the children, business, friends.

She told Dad to find someone else to share his life with. At the time Dad was insistent that it would take time to replace Mum. But, he’s been seeing a lady since September, and they are good companions to each other. She’s not a replacement for Mum, but he’s happy, even though he misses Mum. I can’t say that it’s been easy for me to accept, but knowing he is not alone does help me.

I’ve managed to start focusing more on the business. The year before Mum died was the worst roller-coaster I’ve ever been on. Where were my priorities? On a small business struggling in the recession, or time with my Mum? I chose time with my Mum, to the detriment of my business. I don’t regret it, but there is so much to do.

It hasn’t been easy to refocus, and the emotional pain of not having Mum to talk to about plans, or share successes has been difficult. But, I’ve been helped immensely by the support of excellent friends, the prayers from people from my Church, and more recently from 3 Reiki sessions.

I’d never had Reiki before, but Mum’s death had put me out of kilter. Reiki has helped to get my body and spirit back in line (Reiki is about energy through the body and with the world). It has also helped me believe that Mum is still with me in spirit. I knew that her spirit would live on – it’s a big part of my Christian belief. But it’s only since talking to Bernadette, my Reiki Master, that this has totally come home. Now I can feel Mum’s spirit with me, and I’m happier than I’ve been in a very long time.

This weekend was a tough one for us. It’s the start of half term week, and Dad had offered to look after the boys for us. He’s taking them to Legoland tomorrow – their Christmas present. But when we arrived late Friday night, 10 minutes after my brother and his 2 girls, it was clear that Dad was struggling with the emotions of it all.

He was struggling with the emotions “what should I be feeling”. He felt guilty that he has got on with his life, that he is happy with his life. It took all weekend of being with his children and grandchildren, doing ‘normal’ things to make him understand that it’s fine to be happy. Mum wouldn’t want it any other way.

So, one year on, and I miss my Mum. But not like I did. I miss being able to share with her the boy’s triumphs, my ideas for the business, and my plans for the garden. But, as my Christian belief tells me – Life goes on. When one life is taken away, babies are born, and the life cycle starts again.

We’ll never forget the people we love so much, or their love for us. We just need to work out the best way of moving forward without them. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. No right or wrong time to start clearing out. But the only right way forward is to let their spirit go free. That way it comes back to support you with even more passion than it did in life.

I’m happier, calmer, more focused and able to enjoy life so much more than I have for a number of years. I hope you can be too.

First published over at Support 4 Women on 31.05.10 – thank you for permission to share T-J.

One Year On – Life Without a Loved One is a post from: My Middle Youth

Greening your lifestyle needn’t be hard work if you choose to involve the whole family. Here, Green writer Brenda Cuby shares some quick ideas for making some small steps towards a greener home.

Adventures – Plan family days, these do not need to cost much money, you can go for a walk in your local area, plan a treasure hunt, make a picnic, go on a bike ride, the list is endless all you need is a bit of imagination.

Ban the batteries – Kids will soon get used to toys without batteries when they see the great alternatives.  You can get solar powered, wind-up and traditional toys which need no battery power to work.  If you do have some battery toys then try and use rechargeable batteries where possible.

Cooking – The more involved  you can get your child in cooking from a young age the better it is for them.  They learn to be self-sufficient as adults, they learn how to make traditional dishes and generally you will find they will take so much pride in their cooking that they will want to eat it!

Craft Box – Get crafty!  Kids love to create so why not have a box which you can fill up with all the rubbish you would normally throw away including toilet rolls, old cards etc, so when you have a rainy day or a day where the kids are bored you can just delve in and start creating your masterpieces.

Energy Saving – When planning your children’s chore list for their pocket money why not make them responsible for some energy saving ideas, which can include: switching off lights when leaving a room, switching off television’s and computers at the socket not just leaving them on standby.

Gardening – Whether you have a garden or not, you can get the family started from a young age enjoying growing your own.  A great form of exercise and spending time with the kids if you do have an allotment of large garden, the excitement the kids and you as adults feel when you grow your own is contagious and you will find that kids are more inclined to try the vegetables they grow!

Recycling – Make this a family chore.  Each family member should be responsible for a different type of recycling.  Depending on what recycling pick-ups your council facilitates will depend on what you do, but the usual ones include: paper, garden waste, glass, and food waste.

Togetherness – The most important thing is time!  No matter what you have materially or not, children need your time, whether it is just for a cuddle or reading a book or playing a game these are the memories your child will carry with them throughout their lives. Material things will come and go but the more time you spend together doing fun and enjoyable activities together the more happier you all will be!

This is a guest post written by Brenda Cuby the publisher and editor of www.thegreenfamilia.co.uk a natural living blog that likes to highlight the best natural options available to you and your family.

Eight Simple Ways to Start Greening Your Family! is a post from: My Middle Youth

Lavender has an aromatic sharpness, which, combined with soft flavours of the honey and the toasted almonds give these cupcakes a luxuriously decadent and intense flavour.

I think a sprig of real lavender would make the perfect topping.

Ingredients:

Vanilla cupcakes:
280 g sifted plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
Pinch of salt
113g unsalted butter, softened
205g Tate & Lyle fair-trade caster sugar
2 large eggs, at room temperature
4 floz whole milk
1/2 teaspoon good vanilla extract

Method:

Makes 13

Preheat oven to 180ºc
Sift together flour, salt and baking powder in a small bowl.
In a large mixing bowl, beat the butter with an electric mixer until smooth. Add caster sugar and beat for 5 minutes until very light and fluffy.
Add the eggs, one at a time, beating to combine after each addition. Add the flour mixture in three parts, alternating with the milk and vanilla, beginning and ending with the flour.
Be careful not to over mix.
Using an ice cream scoop, spoon the batter into cupcake liners – about 3/4 full.
Bake for 20 mins or until a toothpick inserted into the centre comes out clean.
Cool the cupcakes in the pan for a few minutes then transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool completely.

For the frosting:

Lily Vanilli Lavender Honey Icing
50g soft butter
450g Tate & Lyle Fairtrade icing sugar (approx – depending on the consistency you want to achieve)
3fl oz lavender milk
1fl oz double cream
1 tsp honey
Flaked almonds and lavender and edible silver glitter to decorate

Toast flaked almonds on a baking sheet in a hot oven for approx 5 mins – until lightly browned – and allow to cool.

Whisk butter in a metal bowl until smooth, then add 300g icing sugar, milk, honey & double cream. Blend until smooth and slowly add remaining icing sugar until you have the consistency you want.

Ice cupcakes and dust with a sprinkling of lavender buds, cooled toasted almonds and silver glitter.

For the lavender milk:

Measure out around 1.5 times the milk your recipe requires (to allow for evaporation) and add lavender buds at a ratio of 2tbsp buds to 1 cup milk to a small pan.
Heat ingredients to a scald stage (just before boiling), then turn off heat and leave to cool completely. Strain the flowers with a sieve and re-measure milk before adding to your recipe.

Edible glitter is available from cake shops and online baking retailers

For more recipes from Tate & Lyle visit www.tasteandsmile.co.uk

For more information about cupcake couture expert Lily Vanilli, visit: www.lilyvanilli.com

Weekend Project: Lavender and Honey Cupcakes is a post from: My Middle Youth

No need to be a walking advert for your supermarket anymore, you can now keep your food and drink insulated in style, as you hit the outdoors with a cool bag that’s as gorgeous on the outside as the food is inside.

The bag is available in a choice of photographic rose print (pictured) or with an evergreen print; it’s fully insulated and waterproof.

Dimensions: Height 17cm Length 31cm Width 78cm

£12.95 plus postage from Garden Boutique

Object of Desire: Pink Rose Print Cool Bag is a post from: My Middle Youth

Artylicious have the the license from artist Martin Wiscombe to print his beautiful British seaside themed artwork onto canvas. From cupcakes to Camper vans, Ice cream vans to surf boards, these pictures are bound to be a real hit.

Fab Ice Lolly canvas art – £20.00 from Artylicious.

Object of Desire: Fab Lolly Art from Artylicious is a post from: My Middle Youth

Star by Julien Macdonald contemporary clear cut stem wine glass – even more affordable in the sale. Was £8.00 now £6.40

The Ben De Lisi collection of designer homeware is inspired by his love for the influential Modernism movement of the 1950s and combines strong and vibrant colours like this gorgeous pasta bowl. Was £5.00 now £2.50.

Rocha by John Rocha red ripple felt cushion in a wool/nylon mix. Also available in green. Simply gorgeous! Was £32.00 now £25.60.

Half Price Sale at Debenhams – Top Homeware Finds is a post from: My Middle Youth

I’m actually a Beauty Bible tester, and have contributed to the Green Beauty Bible and the Handbag Beauty bible, plus another I’m currently testing products for, so I was very interested in trying the app out for myself.  The app is easy to use, you can opt to view by beauty category or by A-Z of products. If you click through to the product view you get a brief description, the Beauty Bible marks out of 10 (from the testing panel), price and tester comments. You can then click through in some cases to buy straight away online or discover the bricks and mortar stockist. The app includes best buys for make up, skincare, body and hair products. You can also “favorite” the ones you like.

This app is perfectly suited to the Beauty Steals book (top performing bargain beauty products).  For me, it’s great for those moments in Boots when I’m away from home, have forgotten some beauty product and need to buy something decent on the spot but not top dollar.

At £2.99 for an app, it is a little pricey as you can buy the Beauty Steals book itself for a shade under six quid, but like all apps, you’re paying for the convenience of having the information you need at your fingertips.

Beauty Steals Iphone app – £2.99 at the Apple store.

Beauty Steals: There’s an App for That! is a post from: My Middle Youth

We took a quick peek and found loads of bargains.

Here are our top beauty finds:

Guerlain Divinora black liquid eyeliner was £21.00 now £10.50 (I use this and it’s very foxy)

Stila Lip Glaze Stick was £14.70 now £7.35

Jelly Pong Pong Teint Sublime was £14.70 now £7.35

Fashion Fair Oil Control Loose Powder 28g was £20 now £10.00

DuWop Elixirstx lip gloss was £17.64 now £13.23

Mavala Summer Nail Polish Collection was £30.00 now £15.00

Half Price Sale at Debenhams – Top Beauty Finds is a post from: My Middle Youth

Ruby Plum wins the thumbs up here at Middle Youth for producing really fabulous clothes for women of all ages, sizes and shapes as it’s not easy to find truly flattering stuff on the high street and the catwalk once you’re over 30.

Most of Ruby Plum’s garments use tie belts  or ties which you can wrap round your body where it suits you best. I’m a massive fan of wrap dresses because these suit my body shape best and I’m pleased to report that Suzy uses this style of dress throughout her collection.

Wrap dresses work well when they are tied under your bust or around your waist, at the back or at the front with a nice floppy bow to flatter your tummy. Even the cardis and coats have belts and no other fastenings so that you can tie them to get exactly the right fit. Many of the clothes in the collection also feature kimono style sleeves which aga=in are very flattering and easy to wear. All the clothes have been tested on “real” women – not skinny teenagers – of all shapes, sizes and ages, even pregnant women have been able to wear the collection.

The best news too is that in an industry plagued with questionable environmental practices and labour issues, Ruby Plum is striving to leave a lighter footprint on our planet. They use  environmentally-friendly processes and materials wherever possible, minimise transportation distances and use sea rather than the faster air shipping. They also treat their workers fairly. They’re a member of the Ethical Fashion Forum too.

The biggie – the actual clothes sizes – were a happy surprise: from size eight right up to eighteen. The adjustability of the clothes makes them a good buy if you fluctuate between sizes too.

The collection is designer, so the prices are more than you may normally pay, but reasonable for clothing of this quality and design. My only gripe is that some need to be dry-cleaned or hand-washed.

Try Ruby Plum now, while the previous collection is on sale (shhh!), and bring some va va voom into your middle youth!

Fashion Find: Ruby Plum is a post from: My Middle Youth